Passing Me By

On May 2, 2006 I had Gastric Bypass Surgery. In this journal I will be telling of my ups and downs, the good and the bad. Please be warned that this blog may contain very personal things about me as well as some in depth descriptions of many things. If this is something you may not be able to handle, please do not read my blog.

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

My Belly Dimples

I had written a while back saying that I would try to get pictures of my belly with the "weight loss dents" and well... here it is!! Not the most flattering picture but hey, soon the fat will all be gone!!


The neat thing in this pic, besides the dents in my belly, is the fact that I have lost enough weight to fit in smaller underwear!! Those blue duckie undies are a size 8!!!! :) lol I'm also wearing an old bra that I havent worn in about 6 years! Wooohooo... I'm really melting away here. I will have Jon take my one month post-op photos and we will post them here in the blog as soon as we take them.

Needing Something Uplifting

So last night I could not sleep... all I could think about is all the food I can not eat. I miss it... I never realized the amount of control food has over me. I cried pretty much all night and just kept trying to tell myself this was not a mistake. I did this for a healthier me and so that I can be thinner and not hurt as much and to be here in the future for my daughter and my husband. I know I made the right decision in having this surgery but right now I'm just having a hard time dealing emotionally. I'm really, truely mourning food. It's sickening if you think about it. It's not like I'm on a regular diet where I am just limiting myself... I physically can not eat the foods I want. So even if I did want to "cheat," I cant! It's impossible.

Anyway, since I'm having such a hard time emotionally, I needed a little pick me up! I was going to wait until this Friday to weigh myself but I couldnt wait anymore. Today I am 4 weeks and 1 day post-op and I weigh 266lbs. Thats 34 lbs down from the day before surgery... gone forever. That is also 54lbs down from my highest weight ever. I'm so happy about that... I guess. It's hard to get excited about it but I know that it's a huge amount of weight and that I would not have lost it without the surgery and the tool it has given me.

At the bottom of my blog I have added my personal short term weight loss goals and my ultimate goal. As I reach each of these I will be adding the date that I reached it. I think that may help keep things in perspective... or I hope anyway.

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

A Sad Sad day at the Ballpark

Last night my hubby, daughter and I went to the Mets game... it was a fabulous game and they WON!!

I spent the night quite upset inside... I was mourning the food... I used to go to the games and enjoy an italian sausage with peppers and onions, hot dogs, corn dogs, fries, peanuts, ice cream... I mean they even have chicken fingers there now!! I missed the foot long hot dog with saurkraut and ketchup and mustard. Anyway, EVERYone around us was eating... everything... it literally was KILLING me. Why did it hurt so bad that I couldnt eat the food? Last night was probably the FIRST time I felt I regretted my surgery. I really WANTED that food. I'm literally crying right now writing this because of FOOD!!! For Gods sake... it's ONLY FOOD!!!!!!!! I do not normally get hungry... but my stomach was aching I was so hungry! Was it all in my head? We have at least 4 more games to go to this year, one being this Friday for Jon's birthday... I need to figure out what I can take with me! I guess I havent lost enough weight to really notice a difference sitting in the chairs at the ballpark. I still felt the same in the seat... I thought I might feel different except for the fact that my butt is thinner in the cheeks so sitting there HURT! My butt bones were pushing into the seat!!! lol I think I need a stadium seat pad now! :) I'm used to having more cushion!!

I know in my heart having this surgery was not a mistake... and everything will be worth it... but yesterday I felt so defeated by my surgery.

Saturday, May 27, 2006

Memorial Day Weekend

Well first of all I have been feeling ok the last couple days and no puking. I have been extremely cautious of what I eat and how much. I definitely don't want to puke anymore. It stinks!!! I did get dumping symptoms after drinking a yogurt smoothie yesterday and had diarrhea most of the day. After I drank it and started feeling yucky, I read the ingredients and lo and behold what is in it?? Protein ISOLATE!!! So I really have to read the packages on everything to make sure I can eat them safely!

Ok so it's Memorial Day weekend... another FOOD holiday, though, arent they all?? Anyway, it's time for BBQ's and lots of yummy food and celebrating all of the fallen men and women who fought for our freedom. Too bad I cant eat any of the food! I'm really going to miss BBQ'd hot dogs and burgers on the grill, potato salad, tuna and macaroni, watermelon... just all of it. Oh well... maybe by next year I can actually enjoy a bit of the food for the holidays that I'm missing now!

I just hope by Kaitlyn's birthday in a couple weeks I can get down even just a piece of Ham... that would be good. I just cant wait for this "healing" period to be over!

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Someone Told Me... a Lie!

People told me, even before I had my surgery, that I would puke - everyone does at some point. They told me that it would be no big deal... it would be kinda like a baby spitting up and that after it happened you go about your day like nothing.

Well let ME be the one to tell you and anyone else thinking about the surgery that that is NOT true for some people. Maybe it happens that way for some poeple but not for me!

Tonight was by far the WORST puking experience... first let me explain that I did NOT puke because I ate something I shouldn't have or ate "wrong." I had freakin air bubbles stuck in there because as I was dry heaving over the toilet bowl and puking up foamy crap and air bubbles, there really wasnt much food in there at all. I mean I had some mashed potatoes for God's sake. Anyway, it was just horrible and forceful and my eyes were watering and I felt like I was puking after a night of heavy drinking!

I'm really getting to the point that I dont want to eat anything anymore... I feel so much better when I hardly eat anything... then at dinner I try to eat something and I puke. I puked last night and if I remember correctly I puked the night before too. I'm just sick of it... all the times I have puked it's been a forceful puke and heaving.

Why does this have to be so hard for me?? Other people "spit up" like a baby and other people can drink the protein shakes... not me! I puke hard and my body rejects the protein shakes and things. Ugh... for anyone who thinks this is a cop out or an easy way to lose weight, I have one thing to say to you... let me see YOU try it! This is NOT FUN AT ALL!!! IT SUCKS!!!

Monday, May 22, 2006

SEEing Myself Shrinking

Ok the movie the other day wasnt bad... we went to see DaVinci Code and although I would have loved to have my popcorn, twizzlers and soda, I couldnt and I didn't die from it. It was hard to sit there drinking my bottle of water I smuggled in but it worked. The movie was pretty good too, we enjoyed our first "date" since we had Kaitlyn... it was nice to get out.

Anyway, it's so weird to notice myself getting thinner and I don't mean clothing sizes or the weight on the scale. I mean I look in the mirror and I can SEE myself getting thinner. Well first of all I notice I've lost weight in my hands because when I fold my hands together they feel thinner. I also notice when laying in bed that my butt is smaller and my hips stick out a bit more. There is one really weird thing though... my belly has "weight loss dents"... what I mean by that is on each side of my belly kinda centered top to bottom on the right and left is a dent where I have lost weight. If I can get a picture of it, I'm going to. It's so weird! And my skin on my belly is starting to look a little bit wrinkly if you know what I mean. I guess if you've ever been fat and lost weight you would understand... but you can see the skin is not being pulled and stretch by the fatness anymore... it's amazing to watch my transformation and I'm the one going through it!

Well I still have been good about not getting on the scale... I hope I can hold out another 11 days. I'll be one month post-op in 11 days and I dont want to get on the scale until then.

The last few days have been hard eating... I'm not eating nearly what I should be and trying to get in my water hurts... I mean everytime I take a drink I get an air bubble and it's so painful! I mean I used to have a big belly so the air had somewhere to move to when I drank but not now... air hardly fits in my belly. So being sick and trying to do all this is just getting more difficult everyday!

Speaking of being sick, I'm going to lay down for a nap with my daughter since she is crabby and tired and so am I! :)

Saturday, May 20, 2006

Testing Emotional Strength

Every day it seems like it's getting harder and to watch everyone eat normal food. It's weird because I don't rely on food for comfort anymore. I dont live for food or eating anymore... I eat food to live now. These first few weeks after surgery are extremely difficult and truely do test your emotional strength.

Today we are going to see a movie... I will not be able to sit and have a big Coke and popcorn while watching it like I used to. Instead, I'll have a bottle of water and nothing at all to eat. It's different and a change and I just hope that Jon can understand that I may not be all happy and excited about having to make this change right now. I know that when I see the weight really coming off, I wont care because the reward of being thinner will be better than any food or soda or popcorn tastes!

I can do this... I can get through it... it's just so much work.

Friday, May 19, 2006

Protein Schmotein!

Well I think I have come to the conclusion that I am unable to drink protein drinks or smoothie/shakes. I have tried about 4 different kinds and they either make me puke or make me very nauseous. Now I have no trouble with real protein from foods, it's the protein Isolates and predigested protein that I am having problems with. I've tried a couple different drinks and a shake and a smoothie and they all make me sick. I get "dumping" symptoms when I drink them. I get sweaty, light headed and nauseous. I've decided that I know I am NOT going to die if I do not get in all of my protein while healing so I'm going to do my best to get in what I can with the foods I can eat. Then, when I am able to eat more real solid foods, I will have no trouble getting in my protein.

Now, it seems my daughter got sick almost a week ago and has been feeling miserable and now Jon and I both are sick also. Our whole family has sore throats, stuffy/runny noses and just feeling yucky. This is not something I needed to be dealing with while trying to heal from major surgery but I guess I'll do what I have to to get through. We all just feel like crud!

So lately I'm feeling a bit better... I'm still a little sore on the left side of my stomach - understandable since they cut up my belly and rearranged things in there - and I can eat some things without issues. I had a little low sugar oatmeal with my daughter this morning and it went down good and I didnt have that overfull painful feeling after eating it. I did only eat about 1/4 of it but at least it gave me a bit more confidence to try eating again. The past couple days it seems everything I was eating was hurting me so I was getting a little aversion to eating.

Oh another thing thats been happening! Almost everywhere we go where there is food, I smell it and it seems like food smells so much stronger when you cant eat it! It smells so good and actually makes me sad that I cant eat it yet. I truely cant wait until I can eat chicken again or turkey or hamburger... anything thats real solid food that I can get protein out of. I miss veggies too! I want some zucchini and broccoli and cauliflower and brussel sprouts! I'd love to have some of the high protein crunch cereal I bought too! I cant wait to be able to eat crunchy food! You never know what you're missing until you cant have it! Isnt that true about so many things in life??

Ok enough whining about food!! I'm going to drink my water and see about getting my daughter down for a nap!

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

2 Weeks Post-Op (and a day)

First of all I decided that I can not step on the scale until June 2nd. Thats one month from surgery and that will keep me from obsessing over every little pound... or obsessing if the scale hasnt moved for a day! I didn't post yesterday simply because we had a lot going on. I did throw up again yesterday and it was all foamy and mucosy because I either didnt chew well enough or eat slow enough. One of those thing... basically, I didnt eat correctly and my body let me know!

Today I started making myself a recipe notebook so that I can easily make my shakes and dinners when I can start eating real food again! It's coming along nicely and should make things very simple.

I had written an email to Dr H. the other day asking about my extended release Wellbutrin and he says it's no problem to take! I'm so happy about that... I was not in the mood to be taking 2 pills 3 times a day with the regular ones! So tonight I will start taking my XL's again, YAY!!!! Seems silly I know but it's convenience!

Well thats about it... today I havent felt like eating much... so I'm trying to get some things in. I had a few sips of soup today. I got my sample protein pack in the mail and my other protein drinks too. I tried the "New Whey" fruit tube protein and I almost threw up from it. It turned my stomach so bad. I certainly hope that the other fruity drinks I bought arent like that one or I'll be in trouble. I gotta figure something out here to get my protein in. Until I can eat real food, these shakes or drinks have to be the way. Once I can eat real food, I can eat chicken and other things to help get in my 45-60 grams of protein.

Well.. I guess once I make a shake or get my other drinks I will come and post how they taste.

Sunday, May 14, 2006

Relearning to Chew and Swallow

Well after throwing up yesterday I felt much better. Ya see, after eating for 30 years the same way, it's hard to relearn how to chew and swallow. I have spent my entire life chewing enough to get food swallowed so that I can eat as much as possible... now I am working on chewing very thoroughly and swallowing only after my food is chewed and can be chewed no more. It's so incredibly difficult to do and if you dont believe me, try it! Try chewing a small bite of food (no big huge bites) until it is wet and mushy without swallowing any. If you can do that, you have just begun the digestive process. The reason my food must be chewed into oblivion is because there is basically no digestive juices in my tiny little pouch (belly) and I need to work hard to break down the foods in my mouth well with my saliva. That way they can be swallowed and go into the tummy to pick up what little degestive juices there are and then get into my intestines to be fully digested and absorbed... well as much as it will be absorbed.

Well it's Mother's Day today and I am really not enjoying it... my hubby, daughter and Mother-in-Law are going to be enjoying some Chinese food for dinner tonight and I will be sipping some WonTon soup broth... when I really want some Chicken LoMein with fried rice and a egg roll. Oh well it is the price I pay and it will be worth it in the end. I know that soon I will be able to have some bites of Chinese food too (steamed without sauce of course) but I must get through this soft foods - healing time first.

Happy Mothers Day to everyone out there... I wish my mother were more supportive of my decision to have this surgery... I'm not even sure we'll be talking to each other this Mothers Day. I hope everyone has a wonderful day!

Saturday, May 13, 2006

You Pay the Consequences

When you eat wrong... you puke.

I just did.

Feeling Low

For the past few days I have been feeling quite emotional and on the verge of crying. I have had some feelings of regret and just plain wondering if I made a mistake in all of this. Everyday that I don't get all my protein in, I feel defeated and inadequate. I know its all emotions and feelings flying but well... it's hard. I've been reading a lot of other peoples journey's and I cry reading them because they hit home. I know that I will pull through this and I know that I can beat these feelings. It's just so hard and I'm really taking my emotions one day at a time.

Well... I told myself I wasn't going to keep weighing myself... this morning I just had to! I even ran out into the living room to tell Jon I thought the scale was broken! I weighed 279.5 on my scale which is 20.5lbs that I will never see again, gone... forever... in less than 2 weeks! I will never again for the rest of my life weigh over 280lbs! Needless to say, today, I am feeling a bit better emotionally. I actually feel like doing my hair today and maybe putting on a little make up!! Can you believe it? I NEVER do my hair or wear makeup!

As for how I'm feeling physically today... well I had egg whites for breakfast and for some reason they feel STUCK in my belly... I think it's because I ate a little too fast and I also am having trouble with the food just having a mind of it's own and going down my throat without being thoroughly chewed. I'm working on it but for 30 years I have eaten that way. It's hard to teach my body NOT to do that... I guess it's something I deal with until my body relearns how to eat. It's truely a LOT of work in progress... i'm getting there!!

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Pulling the Plug

Well just got back from seeing the Surgeon and had my drain taken out and the SteriStrips taken off my incisions. I have to say that was the weirdest feeling I have even felt in my life. The drain was inside my belly from left to right and when Donna (the Physicians Assistant) pulled it out it kinda felt like I had been hit in the tummy. Not that I was in horrible pain... it was just a weird feeling. I cant really explain it almost how your lungs feel when you get the wind knocked out of you but it was my belly instead! VERY Strange!! Not sure if it would have been better coming out slower or not either way the weird feeling only lasted about 5 mins or so. After the drain was out my belly suddenly felt different. I felt bouncy, like I could jump around and dance! I'm still having a little pain but my belly feels completely different after having it removed! I do still have a hole in my belly that I am told will heal from the inside out. It will only have a bandage over it until it heals - no stitch! Gotta eat lots of protein to get it healed up well!!

I got a picture of me and Dr H today too so I'm going to post it in my blog here soon. He's a cutie and such a wonderful wonderful man... I'm not only saying that because he has my blog website address either! I truely and wholeheartedly mean it. I was feeling quite emotional today and after going there and seeing him and hearing him, again, simply say "you're going to do great at this" and asking me how I'm feeling really makes me feel so much better. For some reason having my Dr, my surgeon be so supportive and stand behind me like he does makes me feel great. I have a lot of other people supporting me... but I left there today smiling like crazy just from his words. If anyone on Long Island here is planning on even just talking to a surgeon, please take the time to check out Dr. Spencer Holover at New York Bariatric Group! Soon I should have a link to their website here just keep an eye out!

Well my new protein powders and drinks have been shipped so hopefully I can get them added into the foods I'm eating and hopefully they will taste better than what I have here in the house. I know I forgot to mention that I have to take multivitamins and calcium for the rest of my life and after surgery I get the pleasure of being childlike and eating FlintStone Vitamins!! Yummy!! So my daily medications are FlintStone Vitamins, Viactive calcium chew, Tylenol or Pain meds, Gas-X Chewable and my Wellbutrin which I was taking before surgery. It's a lot of stuff! Taking all of those is almost a meal in itself but it's worth it to keep me healthy.

Well all in all today was a great appointment, I go back in one month and I'm hoping to be down a total of 50lbs by then! I asked Dr H to make a prediction (not that it matters how much I'm down I just wanted to see which of us would be closer!) and he said about another 20-25lbs. So he thinks a total of about 40lbs gone but I'm aiming higher!! :) I guess we'll see!!

When I was weighed at the office today I was 284lbs which is 16lbs gone from the day before surgery (that was 10 days ago) !!

45-60 Grams of Protein

Well I'm trying very hard to get my protein in but it's very difficult when you are limited as to what you can eat! The drinks are nasty... so I ordered some stuff from a website for Bariatric Eating and it's supposed to be fabulous. We'll see!

I just want to say that I am feeling yucky today and emotional as well... not sure why but might be because I feel so bad that my hubby is doing everything to take care of me and Kaitlyn these past couple weeks and it's not over yet...

I have to head to the Dr this afternoon to get my drain out. I managed to get Jon to take a picture of my drain so here it is. I hope it does finally come out this afternoon, I'm sick of it and it's getting gross. The drainage is less than half of what it was when I left the hospital and it's a clear yellow color so I think there is nothing to worry about. It's just that there are nasty chunks in the collection bulb and it's nasty to look at! :) Ah well I'm sure it will be gone and I can get on with healing. I sure know sleeping will be all the much better!

I'll post after my appointment later, when I know what the future looks like! :)

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

1 Week Post-Op

Well I am one week post-op and I can see it in my face that I have lost some weight. I weighed myself today and I am down 12lbs since the day before surgery. My weight today was 288lbs... I am melting away like butter on a dashboard in summer! :) I hope I continue to lose and that by 1 month post-op I can be at least 25lbs down. My goal is 20-25lbs a month for these first few months... if not more! :)

Monday, May 08, 2006

How Am I Feeling?

Over the weekend I was still having a lot of pain and was having to really stay on top of my pain meds... which Jon was and still is in charge of because I forget all the time. I am still getting a bit of gas as well and have to keep up with the Gas-X as well. Sometimes I get a very bloated and painful belly and forget that I should try a Gas-X to relieve it. It's slowly coming along though... everyday really does get better in the pain department.

Eating has been a chore. I havent been able to get all of my 45-60 grams of protein in yet and the nasty supplement shakes are very hard to choke down. I am working on it and I know I can do it but it's hard. The one thing I have found that goes down smoothly with NO issues at all is Yogurt. I'm not a big Yogurt fan so Dannon Light & Fit Blueberry it has been for the past week, but it works! I did make a mistake and take a bite of Corned Beef Hash on Saturday and I was a mess. I did experience a very mild Dumping Syndrom and was nauseous and sick all day from eating it that morning.

I'm still looking for good things I can eat to get a LOT of protein. I dont have much of an appetite and wet foods are starting to get to me already. I have 5 more weeks of this diet and I need to find something I can do to get in my protein. I will post my daily foods here as soon as I get them set and decide what is best!! :)

I've found that Sugar Free foods are extremely sweet tasting. I am not allowed to eat Sugar anymore so I have gotten sugar free popcicles and Jello and all kinds of other stuff. It's just so sweet I cant eat most of it anymore... even the unsweetened Applesauce is getting to be too sweet! I just am not a sweets person but if you are and you have this surgery... or heck even if you dont have the surgery... you would love sugar free stuff! I finally figured out a way to have some great popcicles that are sugar free and barely any calories! Jon and I made some Crystal Light Lemonade popcicles with our ice pop makers we have. We made some Crystal Light and poured it in and froze them into pops! Probably would work great in ice cube trays too! The only thing is, is you have to rinse them off before you eat them unless you like a sour lemon surprise! The pops settle and you get a big sour spot on the outside of the pop... but after a lick or two it's gone or if you rinse it under water. :)

Friday, May 05, 2006

My Hospital Stay

I have to say overall I had a great hospital stay. The hardest part of the whole stay was not being able to see my daughter for the entire time I was there. She was not allowed on the floor to visit me. I knew, though, that every bit of what I was and am going through and not seeing her would all be worth it in the end. Tuesday evening after the surgery they had me up and walking and my in laws came to visit which was very nice... I don't remember much of it at all since I was so drugged out on Morphine. My in laws said I was falling asleep mid sentence and they just thought it was so funny! I would have too hahahaha.

So Wednesday I got my catheter out and was a little more alert since I'm sure I got some rest the night before. I was up and walking around throughout the day on Wednesday and I got to go to the bathroom and even take a sink bath in there with help. I spent most of the day managing my pain, got to visit with Jon a couple times that day. By the end of the day, I was off my morphine and taking crushed Percocet for pain. I still had not eaten but didnt really feel like eating anyway. Ice chips had me covered and they were great! :)

Now if I were to give anyone advice about this surgery or any hospital stay in general. The hospital works for you and their staff. Basically there were a few times where I had been forgotten about when it was time for my meds. One time in particular, in the middle of the night Wednesday, I ended up asking for my meds about 4 times and was more than an hour past when they were due. I was in terrible terrible pain and was crying and crying and couldnt breathe and it was just a horrible experience. I finally got them and ended up sitting up all night in a chair because I felt better that way.

Anyway, Thursday I had a bit of breakfast and some lunch and then was sent home at around 4pm. It was so wonderful to see my beautiful girl waiting for me in the lobby downstairs at the hospital. She was a little confused as to why mommy was being rolled around the corner to her in a wheelchair but after a bit she really wanted me to hold her and got crabby because I couldnt. I did sit in the back seat with her on the way home and we played and talked and spent some time together. It was so wonderful to see her and be with my family... I couldnt wait to get home.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

The Day of Surgery

Well my surgery was today (posting this after surgery but setting the date back!) and I went to the hospital this morning at 6:15am with Jon and Kaitlyn. At around 6:30am they called me back to get me in my hospital gown and all IV'd up and ready for surgery. When they called me back, I sent Jon home with Kaitlyn so I spent the couple of hours in Pre-Surgery alone. It wasn't all that bad, but I was extremely nervous. The nerves really kicked in when they parked the bed outside the OR room and I was waiting to go in. I got in the OR at about 8am, the surgical team, my surgeon and the Physicians Assistant were all there. As I laid there on the table I got very, very, very nervous and tears started to fall off the sides of my cheeks. The surgical team was great in making me feel comfortable and it was no time before I was being put to sleep by the anestheiaologist. The surgeon and PA were both so great. Donna (the PA) wiped the tears away and said not to worry, things were going to go great! Dr H (my surgeon) came over to me and told me he believed in me and that he knew I was going to be very successful after the surgery. It helped me so much to hear him tell me that. All I could do was flash a little smile before falling asleep... I think had I said anything or even tried I would have burst out crying. I truely was nervous and scared, which really doesnt happen often in my life. I soon was asleep and the surgery was underway.

When going into surgery I fully expected to wake up in recovery alone - well with only the nurses and other hospital staff. I had told Jon there was no need for him to come visit me there and to just come when they got me a room. However, that wasnt the case, when I woke up Jon was sitting there next to me. He was only allowed to stay for a few minutes but I was so happy to see him there - especially unexpected! I'm not sure if he even knows that but it was the BEST moment of my surgery. I didnt realize how much it meant to me to have him there as I was coming out of it all. It was great to see him smiling and so happy that I was ok and to have him hug me and kiss me. I loved knowing that Kaitlyn was doing well and they were hanging in there and would see me when I got a room.

Monday, May 01, 2006

Day Before Surgery

This is a picture of me today, the day before surgery:


Why?

People always ask my why I'm having Gastric Bypass surgery and it's an easy answer, I'm 150lbs overweight and have been for most of my life. I have tried many, many time to lose it with diet and exercise and nothing has ever worked. It's basically a vicious circle with me... I have PCOS (PolyCystic Ovarian Syndrom) which has my hormones all in a tizzy and that causes me to gain weight and makes it very difficult to lose. The PCOS is so bad because I am overweight. So basically, being heavy gives me PCOS which makes me not be able to lose weight easily. I did have some small success once when I was on LA Weightloss and Glucaphage for my PCOS. I had lost 50 lbs and after 1 year stayed at that weight. However for someone who was 170lbs overweight at the time to lose 50lbs is pretty much like losing hardly any. You know when you have 20 lbs to lose and you lose 5 or 7 and really dont notice a difference? Well thats how it is for someone who loses 50... it seems like a lot... but in the big picture it's not a lot compared to what they need to lose.

Another huge reason I decided to take such drastic measures was because I am watching both of my parents battling everyday with Diabetes and other illnesses that are surely in my future if I do not do something about my weight now. I do not want to be like them... I want to spend good times with my husband and my daughter and any future kids we may have. I want to have fun and not be sick and in pain all the time!


Another thing people ask is why I chose to have the actual Bypass instead of the LapBand... Well the LapBand procedure is great for someone who just eats too much. I don't mean that in a bad way, I just mean in my opinion restriction is one diet approach and thats what the LapBand is. It restricts the belly so you cant eat as much... the catch... you can still eat pretty much any food you had been eating before that. Also the LapBand is very easily gotten around... there are people out there who drink shakes and eat ice cream and all of that and dont lose weight or even gain after having the LapBand. Also after having the LapBand you need to have adjustments to the band if it starts to slip down or you begin being able to eat too much again.

I decided I needed this to be a permanent tool to help me lose as much weight as possible and to maintain that loss. When you get the actual bypass you can no longer eat fatty, greasy, or sugary foods because it makes you very ill and even throw up sometimes. The reason that happens is because the portion of the intestines that is bypassed is the part of the small intestine that digests and absorbs those types of foods. So it's as easy as needing it to be a permanent tool and I'm not really fond of having a piece of plastic in my belly with a port that has to be adjusted.

What is Gastric Bypass??

Definitions courtesy of www.stopobesityforlife.com

The Roux-en-y Gastric Bypass

The Roux en-y Gastric Bypass, is considered the "gold standard" of modern obesity surgery. This operation achieves its effects by creating a very small (around 1 ounce) stomach pouch from which the rest of the stomach is permanently divided and separated. The small intestine is cut about 18 inches below the stomach, and is arranged to provide an outlet to the small stomach, while maintaining the flow of digestive juices at the same time. The lower part of the stomach is bypassed, and food enters the second part of the small bowel. The operation works by reducing food intake, and reducing the feeling of hunger. The result is a very early sense of fullness, followed by a very profound sense of satisfaction. Even though the portion size may be small, there is no hunger, and no feeling of having been deprived. Most patients will experience "dumping syndrome" when they eat sweets. "Dumping syndrome" causes the patient to have crampy abdominal pain, feel faint and have diarrhea. A portion of the small bowel is bypassed causing malabsorption, which leads to more weight loss. Patients feel indifferent to even the choicest of foods.

The Gastric Bypass provides an excellent tool for gaining long-term control of weight, without the hunger or craving usually associated with small portions, or with dieting. Weight loss of 80 - 100% of excess body weight is achievable for most patients, and long-term maintenance of weight loss is very successful. It does, however, require adherence to a simple and straightforward behavioral plan.

Laparoscopic or Open refers to the "approach" - it is still the RNY gastric bypass.

Laparoscopic Roux-en-y Gastric Bypass

The purpose of this approach is to have the same surgical procedure with as little discomfort to the patient as possible and to also decrease the chances of some complications.
Laparoscopic surgery allows surgeons to "see" into the abdomen using a pencil-thin optical telescope, and to project the picture from the video camera on a TV monitor at the head of the operating table. The surgeon has to develop skills in operating without being able to feel tissue directly, and by learning to determine where instruments are by seeing them on TV.
The benefits of the laparoscopic approach come from the 5-6 very small ¼ to ½ inch incisions which are made. With laparoscopic surgery there is much less pain and very little scarring. Patients are better able to get up and walk within hours after surgery, can breath easier, and move without discomfort. Bowel activity usually is not affected, as it is with an open incision. Most patients find they can return to normal activities within a much shorter time. People experience similar weight loss and less overall complications.
The anatomic visualization is actually better through the scope than in the open operation. The risks of surgery performed laparoscopically are comparable the "open" procedure. To summarize the advantages of the laparoscopic approach: there is less pain, cosmetic improvement, decreased time in the hospital, shorter recuperation, decrease of some possible complications (wound infection, wound hernias, and pulmonary problems), is cost efficient and maintains the same successful results reported around the world with the open bypass procedure.

LAP-BAND Adjustable Gastric Banding System

The BioEnterics LAP-BAND Adjustable Gastric Banding System (INAMED Health, Santa Barbara, CA) is the newest surgical treatment for morbid obesity in the United States. It induces weight loss by reducing the capacity of the stomach, thereby restricting the amount of food that can be consumed at one time.

Like a wristwatch, the band is fastened around the upper stomach to create a new, tiny stomach pouch. As a result, patients experience an earlier sensation of fullness and are satisfied with smaller amounts of food. Since there is no cutting, stapling, or stomach rerouting involved in the LAP-BAND System procedure, it is considered the least traumatic of all weight loss surgeries. The surgeon makes several tiny incisions and uses long, slender instruments to implant the device. By avoiding the large incision of open surgery, patients generally experience less pain and scarring. In addition, the hospital stay is shortened to less than 24 hours, including overnight hospitalization. Patients can typically resume normal activities within 1 week, which is quicker than with other surgical alternatives.

The LAP-BAND System is an adjustable silicone band with an inflatable inner surface. It is connected to an access port below the skin surface by thin, kink-resistant silicone tubing. The port allows the surgeon to adjust the size of the LAP-BAND System to meet individual patient weight loss needs by adding or removing saline to inflate or deflate the band. This impacts the amount and consumption rate of food. Adjustments to the band, which are performed during simple outpatient visits, are determined by the patient’s weight loss, the amount of food that can be comfortably eaten, the exercise regimen, and other issues surrounding the patient’s health, as well as the amount of fluid already in the patient’s band.

Because no permanent changes are made to the body’s physiology, the procedure can essentially be reversed. If necessary, all of the system components can be removed from the body with no damage to the digestive organs. The stomach will generally return to its original form and capacity once the band is removed.

The effectiveness of the LAP-BAND System depends on the success of the surgical procedure and the ability of the patient to change his or her diet and eating behavior. Clinicians offering the LAP-BAND System treatment have committed to being able to provide long-term care for their patients, including dietary, behavior-modification, and counseling support. After surgery, LAP-BAND System patients must maintain scheduled follow-up visits. Follow-up may require four or more visits during the first year and include a review of the patient’s progress and discussion of any concerns or problems that are pertinent at that time. Patients are encouraged to eat a balanced diet and to avoid the problematic eating patterns of their pre-surgery lifestyle. The restrictive effect of the band produces feelings of early satiety and longer-lasting fullness. This reinforces the patient’s ability to be content with smaller meals when solid food is eaten and well chewed. At the appropriate time, patients are encouraged to increase physical activity and exercise, which is very important to weight loss, good health, and improved quality of life.
To date, more than 95,000 patients worldwide have undergone the LAP-BAND System procedure. Since the Food and Drug Administration’s approval of the LAP-BAND System in June 2001, interest in and use of the LAP-BAND System have been rapidly growing in the U.S. In line with its FDA-approved guidelines for indications, the LAP-BAND System is intended for people who are morbidly obese—those who are at least 100 pounds overweight or who are at least twice their ideal body weight. The term “morbidly” connotes the fact that individuals who carry this much excess weight face an increased risk of developing a number of serious health conditions, including diabetes, high blood pressure, cardiovascular disease, cancer, and osteoarthritis.

In February 2002, a report released by the United States Food and Drug Administration Office of Device Evaluation named the LAP-BAND System as one of the Significant Device Breakthroughs. The Office of Device Evaluation highlighted the LAP-BAND System with several other new products as significant medical breakthroughs “as they are first of a kind, e.g., they use a new technology or provide a major diagnostic or therapeutic advancement, such as reducing hospital stays and replacing the need for surgical intervention.”

The Beginning of the New Me

Today I begin this blog to document the beginning of the new me. I am going to be having Gastric Bypass Surgery tomorrow morning and my life with be completely changed forever. In this journal I will tell of my good times and bad and everything inbetween. As well as what I have been through in preparation for this surgery and what I will go through after having it. I will post monthly pictures of myself from beginning to end... end being my goal weight of 150lbs. Though this new life of mine will never come to a close... I will continually be working to maintain my goal. Thank you for joining me in my jounrey to the new me!