Needing Something Uplifting

So last night I could not sleep... all I could think about is all the food I can not eat. I miss it... I never realized the amount of control food has over me. I cried pretty much all night and just kept trying to tell myself this was not a mistake. I did this for a healthier me and so that I can be thinner and not hurt as much and to be here in the future for my daughter and my husband. I know I made the right decision in having this surgery but right now I'm just having a hard time dealing emotionally. I'm really, truely mourning food. It's sickening if you think about it. It's not like I'm on a regular diet where I am just limiting myself... I physically can not eat the foods I want. So even if I did want to "cheat," I cant! It's impossible.

Anyway, since I'm having such a hard time emotionally, I needed a little pick me up! I was going to wait until this Friday to weigh myself but I couldnt wait anymore. Today I am 4 weeks and 1 day post-op and I weigh 266lbs. Thats 34 lbs down from the day before surgery... gone forever. That is also 54lbs down from my highest weight ever. I'm so happy about that... I guess. It's hard to get excited about it but I know that it's a huge amount of weight and that I would not have lost it without the surgery and the tool it has given me.

At the bottom of my blog I have added my personal short term weight loss goals and my ultimate goal. As I reach each of these I will be adding the date that I reached it. I think that may help keep things in perspective... or I hope anyway.