Feeling Low

For the past few days I have been feeling quite emotional and on the verge of crying. I have had some feelings of regret and just plain wondering if I made a mistake in all of this. Everyday that I don't get all my protein in, I feel defeated and inadequate. I know its all emotions and feelings flying but well... it's hard. I've been reading a lot of other peoples journey's and I cry reading them because they hit home. I know that I will pull through this and I know that I can beat these feelings. It's just so hard and I'm really taking my emotions one day at a time.

Well... I told myself I wasn't going to keep weighing myself... this morning I just had to! I even ran out into the living room to tell Jon I thought the scale was broken! I weighed 279.5 on my scale which is 20.5lbs that I will never see again, gone... forever... in less than 2 weeks! I will never again for the rest of my life weigh over 280lbs! Needless to say, today, I am feeling a bit better emotionally. I actually feel like doing my hair today and maybe putting on a little make up!! Can you believe it? I NEVER do my hair or wear makeup!

As for how I'm feeling physically today... well I had egg whites for breakfast and for some reason they feel STUCK in my belly... I think it's because I ate a little too fast and I also am having trouble with the food just having a mind of it's own and going down my throat without being thoroughly chewed. I'm working on it but for 30 years I have eaten that way. It's hard to teach my body NOT to do that... I guess it's something I deal with until my body relearns how to eat. It's truely a LOT of work in progress... i'm getting there!!