The Eleventh Hour

Ok so it's the 11th MONTH but it sounded like a good title! Anyway, I had my 11 month post op visit with the surgeon yesterday and I lost a whole 2lbs this month!! hahahaha Really I do not have much more to lose, except skin so until that goes I think I will be hovering at about 165-170. I was 168lbs though and my BMI was 25.5. A HUGE difference from what it was when I went there to begin with at 46 BMI!! I have almost lost half of who I used to be... it's amazing to think about. The weird thing after losing 132lbs is that I see people who weigh that much and think to myself... I lose THAT. It's strange to think that I lost an entire person worth of FAT!

So just a few things to get off my chest here... how the hell do you skinny boney ass people SLEEP!?!?!?!?! My knees and feet and ankles are so damn boney they all touch and it hurts! I have a very hard time getting comfortable! I'm sure in time I will make the adjustment and become more comfortable with my body but for now... it's a work in progress.

I really dont know why but the closer I get to my one year re-birthday the more emotional I have been getting. Not sure if it's because of May coming up OR if it's just that since it's been a year my hormones are straightening out and I'm becoming more "woman-like." It's kind of all new to me since, for so long, I didnt have those hormone shifts and changes like a woman should.

I do have to say that I never thought I would be where I am right now at 31 years old. When I was younger I thought I would have had a ton of kids by now and my own house and working in a career. As I got older I learned a lot about myself and what I truly wanted from life and a family. I'm so content being who I am now and having what I have... well to an extent! I do want my own house since it's not always easy living with a relative!

Anyway, my birthday was Saturday and for the longest time I can remember never wanting to acknowledge or celebrate my birthday's at all and this year was different. This year I was actually excited about my birthday... not excited I turned 31 hahahaha but excited that it was my birthday. I was really looking forward to celebrating and having a wonderful day. It actuality it turned out to be a horrible day since Jon was not feeling well and we did nothing but sit around all day. For once, I had let myself get my hopes up about having a great day and getting dressed up in the new pretty dress I bought and enjoying a great dinner out at a new place... I managed to have my hopes crushed when we were unable to do any of those things. I was really hurt by it but I do not blame anyone but myself. I learned my lesson and this is the reason, exactly, why I never expect anything from anyone else but myself... and even that is not always a good thing! lol :) Anyway, Jon felt really bad about getting sick so he really wants to take K and I out to celebrate and make it up to me. Hopefully it will all work out and that will happen... but lets not go and get our hopes up!! lol

Easter was an ok day, I worked all day and then came home to have Easter dinner with Jon, K and Jon's mom. She cooked Turkey, scalloped potatoes and corn on the cob. It was so good and has been so long since I had corn on the cob! I think I was too hungry and it was too good because I managed to eat wrong or too fast or something and had to puke a couple hours after eating. It was actually a horrible puke since I had not thrown up in quite a while. It was a hard one and I got those lovely polka dots around my eyes from puking so hard. I did feel SOOOO much better after so that was good!!

Well if we do happen to go out for my belated birthday this weekend, I will be sure to take pics of me in my pretty new dress! I hope I get to wear it! I would love to go out with Jon one night dancing but where do you go dancing?? I have no idea where there is to go out like that anymore!

So other than that I went through about a week or so of being constipated and that was horrible! Now I talked to the Dr and know that I can take some Senecot(sp?) so I'm going to pick some up. It was a bad week or so there though and I was definitely getting enough water and everything so I really have no idea why it happened. I finally got myself back to normal but not after trying everything I could think of!! Nuts, seeds, and anything else that usually makes ya poop!

Ok I have written a book but I did want to get here to update. I plan on getting a nice pic of Dr H and I at my next visit (May 2nd - my one year anniversary). I'll be sure to post it!!