Been Feeling Crappy

Just thought I would post to say I have been feeling quite down lately. I have been sitting at the same weight now for weeks and I feel like I'm going to be stuck here forever. It's frustrating to not have the scale move. I know that losing 83lbs is a HUGE amount of weight and that I should be happy about it... and I AM! It's just hard to see the scale sit there when I have a goal that is still seemingly so far away.

I have been thinking lately, would I be happy to just lose this 83lbs? If I was just to stay at this weight, am I ok with that? I don't think I am... because I had such big expectations. Perhaps I should have expected anything, but I did and there is nothing I can do to change that now.

It's just upsetting, I guess. I just feel so stuck and I wish I didn't feel so fat still. I hate having this feeling about myself. Everyone sees that I have lost weight and I should too. I should feel thinner, right? I just dont... I still feel the same!

I'm just having a bad few days or so and I hope to get over it soon. I would much rather be happy about what I have accomplished over the last few months.

Catching Back Up

Well we ended up having a good time in Cleveland altogether. The day at the zoo was a disaster but other than that it was very fun. On Sunday after the convention the three of us headed to the Cleveland Indians game at Jacob's Field and had a wonderful time!! I ate part of a bratwurst there (with no bun) and also had some peanuts. It was nice to find something at the ball park I could eat and enjoy. It turned out to be a great game and the Indians won!

After the game we headed up to Michigan to see my family and eating went a lot better there. I did try to eat eggs and sausage one night for dinner and ended up throwing it up. I think my stomach had just had enough of the eggs and sausage! Other than that everything was great, I ate National Coney Island chili (YUM!), chicken, cheese and a lot of different foods. It was great seeing my family too, though, I thought they would be more "excited" about my weightloss and they just said things like "oh you look really good" and that was it.

We did go to another baseball game in Michigan and got to see the Tigers win. We took my dad to the game and had a great time there too! I had more peanuts there and ate a half of a hot dog too, with no bun of course. It is much better going to a baseball game and actually feeling like you belong because you can eat something there. The day we got home from Michigan I ended up sick and had diarrhea very bad for a few days. I really wasnt feeling well for about a week or so but I'm doing much better now.

I went to see the Surgeon for my 3 month check up and everything was well. I weighed 219lbs while there and that is a loss of 81lbs since the day before surgery. I'm so close to ONEderland but I'm trying not to think about it. I am trying not to think about the weight loss since it is coming off much more slowly now, I just dont want to concentrate on it. It's depressing to see the scale stay in the same spot for a few days or a week at a time.

Anyway, tomorrow is my 4th month post-op and I will be posting the updated pictures sometime this weekend. I have an appointment to get my hair done tomorrow so I'll have to post them after I get it done so everyone can really see the new me! It should be fun! I'll have to find some clothes that actually fit me since everything I own is so huge now. It's weird to put on a sweatshirt I havent worn in a few years and have it practically falling off me because it is so big! Oh well... at least I like my clothes big! hahahaha

Ok there is my update, I will do my best to update more often now that things have settled down around here.