OMG Total SHOCK!!

Hubby just surprised me with a brand new beautiful wedding ring set, got down on one knee and asked me to marry him again!!!!!!

A little background for those of you who don't know... hubby and I had some problems a while back and have been working for the past almost two years to get back what we had and this year we both agreed, on our anniversary trip, that we were both so extremely happy and that this was the best anniversary we've had yet!

So apparently this was supposed to happen during the trip but he wasnt able to pick up the ring until Sat after we got home!!! He was then going to wait until Valentine's Day to ask me but I guess the ring was "burning a hole" in his pocket so he couldnt wait!! He and I went to dinner alone tonight and left Kaitlyn with Grandma - unplanned. We ended up having a wonderful talk at dinner and got a bit emotional (both of us) and so when we got home he "popped the question" again!

It was great... he actually had Kaitlyn bring me the little wrapped package with the bow on it and she helped me open it! It was so cool and of course I said YES!! He told me that this is how he knows to make ammends for all the pain he caused me and for everything we went through and that he is sorry for all of it and he hopes that I will let him do this to make everything ok and start fresh and new.

So it looks like we are going to plan on renewing our vows Jan 18th, 2009!!!

As the Snow Falls

Well Jon, Kaitlyn and I all went upstate to Warrensburg, NY for the annual anniversary Bed & Breakfast trip at the Cornerstone Victorian. It was such a great time and there was actually snow so we got to get out and play in it! It's strange to me looking at this photo because it almost doesnt look like me there playing with K.

So the breakfasts went well and Louise was great about catering to my needs! She made wonderful things to eat and I WANTED to eat them all but I knew that I couldnt. I did have a few bites of fruit and then a bite or two of the next three courses, but saved everything I had for the main course so that I could get my protein. I did great by not overeating!! I enjoyed everything too! It was wonderful!

The only thing I kept noticing is that I would get back pain and feel a little sick after eating everyday and I know that it wasnt because of the food or how I ate, it HAS to be because of the damn kidney stone(s) I have. Well I was good once I laid down for a few minutes or if I just didnt pay much attention to it. I hope that the Urologist this week can give me something or do something to break up the stone(s), it doesnt feel well having it.

So on Thursday, our anniversary, the three of us got dressed up very nice and went out to dinner (we meant to take pictures but read on!) at Olive Garden. I did VERY well with dinner, Kaitlyn and I shared a meal and I only ate about a 2" piece of the bread and a small amount of the salad so I had room for the Chicken. I ate about a piece and a half of the chicken breast that came with the meal, had about 3 orchietta(sp?) noodles and 2 bites of broccoli. Kaitlyn ate the other chicken, broccoli and some of the noodles as well. We both really enjoyed the meal and the three of us had a great time together. During dinner Jon and I decided to exchange gifts and he got me a beautiful necklace with a pendant and I got him the Sirius Stiletto (portable sirius radio) and we both loved our gifts so much!

After dinner I had decided that I just HAD to taste the Pumpkin Cheesecake... which was a BIG mistake!! I thought I would get it and Kaitlyn and I would share so I wouldnt eat the whole piece and get sick... well she didnt eat as much as I thought so, well, I ended up eating almost the whole damn piece!!! It was a huge mistake and I know now to never do that again. I got so ill because of it!

Jon and I had to go to Target after dinner to get Kaitlyn some shoes and boots and while we were there (about 20 mins after the cheesecake) I got horribly sick! I got pains in my stomach, I started sweating and I could barely move. I just told Jon I had to go sit down somewhere. So since we were in the shoe section I found a place and had to end up sitting there for about 20 mins or so because I was so sick. I felt like I wanted to puke or something to try to make myself feel better but after about 20 mins of crunching over and moaning I was feeling a bit better and was able to get up and make our purchases and then get in the car.

So, while the cheesecake was AWESOME and tasted sooooooo damn good while I was eating it, it was not worth what I went through afterwards! Like I said, I knew better and did it to myself! I wont be doing that again though!

I did manage to only gain 1 pound while we were up there. I have since lost that one pound again but I still wonder how I am getting anywhere eating like I do lately. I've been snacking and eating crap and I feel terrible about it... but I also feel like I have no control over it. The "craving" or "need" for salt and stuff is overbearing! How do you stop yourself from eating things you KNOW you shouldnt be? How do you stop yourself from feeling like a bottomless pit and constantly hungry? Water does not work! Granted I have not been drinking enough water this last week but does that have anything to do wtih why I feel endlessly hungry?

If anyone has any ideas of how I can beat this "head hunger" please feel free to comment!! Well, I'm off to clean up the complete mess my daughter has made of my living room and her room.

So, how many months are you?

THAT is definitely NOT something someone who just had Gastric Bypass and lost 117lbs wants to hear!!! LOL Well tonight we are at bowling and one of the ladies (who in my opinion would benefit from the surgery herself) asks me "how far along" I am... my eyes BUGGED out of my head!!! I asked her "Excuse me?!?!?" and she says, "You are pregnant aren't you?" I think my eyes got bigger and I said, "uhhhhh, NO! I hope not!!! I just lost 117lbs I hope I dont look pregnant!!" She says, "OMG I'm sorry... I just meant your face looks so different from the last time I saw you and you have this kind of glow, I just assumed you were expecting." I just said to her, "maybe I'm glowing from the size 12 pants my ass fits into now!" :)

I can't say I was upset by that but do you think it's possible that I have changed and emotionally (or whatever it is) I know it and I am really glowing???? How weird huh? I wonder if that is something that happens to post Gastric patients!! I'll have to do some research! :)

Ok anyway, I officially have a Kidney stone on my left side and cystitis (inflamation of the bladder) or at least thats what the report read when Donna, at Dr. H's, called me to tell me the actual results. Fun fun... hopefully this stone will be overwith soon. Though after all the pain I was in from the barium it might have just been thick enough to push the sucker through... but if it did it means it is probably in my bladder and who the hell likes to piss out a kidney stone? Oy! At least I'm not a guy and I have a short urethra! lol So anyway, they are having me stop taking my calcium all together as to not overload my system with calcium incase that is the cause of the stone. I'm assuming because of my history that Uric acid is going to be the reason yet again. The reason I got the three other stones I had was from the recurrent urinary tract infections I have. I mean 34 UTI's in 7 years in a bit much, dont you think???


Ok so on to more fun an exciting things... Jon and I are taking a Cake decorating class and it's actually very neat! We're excited because now we will be able to make Kaitlyn some great birthday cakes and some other cool cakes as well for other celebrations. I got a bunch of recipes too for sugar free cakes and sugar free frostings and I bet NO ONE would even know!! So anyway, I look forward to making some cakes that I can actually eat a piece of instead of just a bite!!


I'm also headed out for an interview tomorrow for a receptionist job. It's just a couple hours in the evening 2-3 days a week and then a few hours during the day on Sat and Sun. It would be perfect for me and us because Jon is usually home in time for me to be able to get to work and then we will be making some extra money to crawl the rest of the way out of debt! :) Hopefully it's a good job and I can wear jeans with a nice shirt or something. I would much rather have an at home job, but this would be great too since I would be able to get out of the house for a bit to enjoy myself! :)


Ok ok so I promised some pictures of me, I know... well here they are!!!

Comparison - Pre-Op to 8 Months Post Op

Me just being sassy!

Of course one of the boot, Cute right??! (Jon took it, so it's a little blurry!)

SIZE 12'S!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

What a Pain in the...

Well as we all know, I have been getting this pain on my left side of my abdomen and Dr H did the endoscopy last week and that came back ok, thank God... no ulcer! Well he then sent me yesterday for an abdominal and pelvic CT Scan with oral contrast. First, I got there and had to fill out the paperwork and get started drinking this barium stuff. It was NASTY to say the least, it had a citrus smell but a coconut aftertaste. It tasted very bland and kinda like nothing going in your mouth but once you swallowed the aftertaste got ya. It made me nauseous everytime I drank it. I was supposed to drink 48oz of it but managed to get in 24oz of that in the hour and a half I was there before the test. I do want to mention that I DO NOT think bariatric patients should have to drink that much (especially 32 oz in 20 mins like they want you to do). It was painful drinking it and I'm not sure if that has to do with my pain or not but it felt very heavy in my stomach and hurt going through. I was in a LOT of pain during the actual CT Scan even though it was only a few minutes long.

Anyway, after the test I was having more pain, not to mention the need to go to the bathroom!! I was wondering if a Barium enema was just a saying or a real thing lol!! Appearently there IS such thing as a barium enema but drinking all that barium made my bowels "clear out" so to speak... and in a hurry!! hahahaha What I think happened actually was that I dumped in a way, because I felt that same stomach sickness I get when I dump and then had horrible diarrhea. I'm sure everyone wants to hear that but well... too bad, thats what you get when you come here to read about my gastric bypass! :)

Sooooooooooo on to the results from the CT Scan right? Dr H said there didnt seem to be a twist or anything in my intestines but he is thinking I may have a kidney stone, which, after having 3 of them already, I DO NOT want this to be another one! To double... err I guess triple check, Dr H is sending me for a full abdominal scan to make sure everything with the surgery went ok and there really are no issues and he is also referring me to a urologist to check out the kidney stone thing. I have had a couple UTI's since the surgery (3 or 4 I think) and a few since my last kidney stone so it's not unlikely that I could have one. I'm just not exactly looking forward to someone saying "yes, you have YET ANOTHER kidney stone," because... well... they are freakin painful. Though, I guess that would explain why I'm having pains!!! I just dont want to have to pass another stone, I passed the previous three and if this one has been causing me pain for over a month now - how big is the damn thing??? OY! Someone get out the sound waves and blast that thing to pieces!!!

Anyway, so last time I picked up a pair of pants for myself (because I am running out of things to wear these days!) I got some on clearace at Target for like $8 and they were a size 16. I'm sure you remember me saying I thought they would be a little snug for awhile but that I would fit in them soon... well those ended up being too big. Yesterday I stopped by Kohl's because I noticed they are having huge 70% OFF sales and stuff and looked around to see if I could find myself some jeans. This time though I was NOT making the mistake of getting a size too big so I was looking for size 14's!!! So I did manage to find a nice pair of jeans and a great pair of boots too!! I love them and dont worry, I plan on taking pics!! :)

So I get home last night and was soooo excited to put on the jeans and boots and show Jon. I get on the jeans and go to button them and.... THEY ARE TOO BIG!!!!!!!!!! What the hell?? At least the boots fit - great! So I am going to take the jeans back to Kohl's tomorrow to exchange them for a size 12... I just cant imagine wearing a size 12. I think there is something wrong that these 14's are mislabeled! There is no way I'm wearing a size 12!!! I mean I guess I'll find out soon enough but it's just scary and weird to think I wear something so small!!!! I didnt even get to wear a size 14!!!! Ohhhhh and speaking of small clothing! My sister in law Michelle got me this AWESOME shirt for Christmas that is a size 16. I told her not to worry about the size that I would eventually fit in it... well I tried it on on Sunday and it fit me AWESOME! It FIT me... the way a shirt should!!! I think I look great in it too! But I still dont have a pair of pants to wear with it (which is another reason I was looking for a pair of jeans that fit!) though, I do have some sweet ass boots to wear when I do! :)

I'm SOOOOOO taking a picture of me in this new shirt and hopefully some new jeans that fit and the boots. I honestly think I look great in them and if you know me at all, you know I have probably NEVER said that about myself!!!

Ok I'm going on and on... I have appointments for my abdominal sonogram set up for Monday Jan 15th and the appointment with the Urologist is Friday Jan 26th so I will be sure to let everyone know how it goes.

It's time to head down to do more laundry and to get the little girl down for a nap soon! Oooo as a reminder to myself - I have to tell everyone about the cake decorating class Jon and I are taking!!!

See ya soon!

Is That a Camera in Your Throat or...

Ok so yes it was a camera in my throat! :)

Well I went today for my Endoscopy and good thing is, there was no ulcer and Dr H said everything looked good... but there is still the issue with the pain in the abdomen so he is sending me for a CAT Scan with contrast. Can't say I'm real excited about having to drink some nasty thick stuff you probably cant even calssify as a liquid but I guess it's better to do it and be sure. He wants to make sure that, since I've lost 116lbs, I didn't get a twist in my bowels.

Basically, he's going to take some pretty pictures to make sure I dont have a kink in the pipes!! lol :)

Anyway, all in all it was a good experience besides the big bruise I have on my hand where the nurse missed putting in the first IV. At least I have that bruise to match the one on the other side from me falling down the stairs!! hahahaha

I think what I'm going to do is start logging my food, BM's and the pain to see how it goes. Like tonight I got them again after eating. I had dinner from 4:30-5pm and then waited (like I'm supposed to) until 5:30 to have my water. I drank a bottle of water between 5:30-6pm and then a few minutes after that (maybe 5-10 mins) I got the pains in my side. Now I know it isnt constipation because I had a BM yesterday and now twice today (who the hell wants to hear about me taking a crap??? lol). The pain didnt last as long as it has before but it was there for about 5 mins or so. I guess we will see what happens and if nothing shows on the CAT Scan, I'll just have to deal with the pains!! At least I dont have an ulcer!!

Ok it's very late and I'm tired as heck so I'm headed to bed! Sweet Dreams!

Super Quick Like Lightening!

Ok this is going to be a speedy post since it's almost 11:30pm and I'm tired! Dealing with a sick toddler all day is just as much fun as it sounds!

Just wanted to let you all of you who are following my progress know that I have been having some heartburn and shouldn't be. About a month or so ago Donna (the PA) put me on some Prevacid to try to keep it under control. Well I'm still getting heartburn when I don't eat even though I am on the Prevacid along with some lower belly pain.

After getting the pains a few more times and two meals in a row I decided to email Dr Holover and let him know what was going on. He had the office call me today and set up an Endoscopy for this Thursday as he wanted it done ASAP. Not a full emergency or he would have done it today but not something he wants to wait until next week or after. So since he does Endo's on Thursdays and would be at the hospital already, he had them stick me in there for one. I have to be there at Noon and my Endo is at 1:30pm.

He also has me switching off the Prevacid and is putting me on Nexium 40mg to try to keep the heartburn under control. He is a little worried I might have an ulcer or something and just wants to take these precautions to make sure it isnt something serious. I'm actually not quite sure why having an ucler is a such an extremely bad thing for a Bypass patient and I may have to look that up... so if I find out I will let you know! :)

Ok just to mark my progress, last time I weighed I was 186lbs, I have 36lbs to reach my goal and I hope to make it by May. THings have REALLY REALLY slowed at this point though I can't exactly say I have been the best of patients with my eating habits. The holidays were very hard on my and I ate kinda bad. I plan to get back on track this week and get back to eating what I was before and hopefully cut down the amount of carbs I was eating too. I've been eating like I'm some chick with an overactive metabolism! HA!

Ok I gotta get to bed! Thank you all for the kind comments, I promise to get a picture posted to the site ASAP... hopefully tomorrow... for my 8 month post-op pic.

Off to count fat molecules... err I mean SHEEP!!! :)