Long Time No Write

I know it's been awhile since I've posted but I havent been feeling up to writing much. Things are a little off for me right now and I'm working it out slowly.

Ok and an update as of today...

I weighed today and I am 229lbs. I'm down 71lbs since the day before surgery. I cant believe I'm almost half way to my goal and I'm not even 3 months out from sugery. I honestly have not seen the scale in the 220's since I was in 6th or 7th grade. I might have to go pick up a couple pairs of shorts for our vacation in August because everything I own is huge and looks like it's falling off me. We'll see if we can gather the money for it. Jon is going to Atlantic City this weekend with his friends for a Bachelor "party" (going to gamble) and that is costing a bit of money... so who knows!

Jon says my new head meds have got to be working and that he can see a difference already. I guess that makes me feel good, that he already notices a difference in my general attitude. Sometimes I still feel very anxious and get very depressed but there are more times when I feel a bit more normal - which I wasnt feeling at all before.

Now on to my Neuropathy... I have a Vitamin B6 deficiency and I have numbness from below my chest to my ankles. The neurologist thinks that the deficiency is what is causing the numbness and that it can be fixed with being consistant with my vitamins. I have been forcing myself to chew and take the nasty tasting things because I dont want to go around being numb the rest of my life. Hopefully this will help. If not, the Neurologist wants to do the nerve test again to see if my back is causing the problem. We'll see in a few weeks.

I think that about covers it... At least 4 more pounds is what I want to lose by our vacation in August and I'm pretty sure I can do it! lol At this rate it will probably be more but as long as I hit that 225 mark before then, I'll be happy. That will make me half way to my final goal... cant believe I have lost about half a person already... so weird!

Comparison - Pre-Op & 2 Months Post-Op

Ya know, I really hate these pictures! lol But here is a comparison pic -

Psych Appt and More!

Today was a pretty great day! First of all I went to the Psych and talked to her about my issues with my anxiety and my increasing depression and all that. She said that all of her Gastric Bypass patients are on a combo of meds and that they work well. So she added Effexor to my Wellbutrin and gave me Xanax to take as needed for my anxiety. Hopefully this combo of meds will help get me back to life. I just want to enjoy things again. She said we will not know how things are going for three months so we'll see then!

So on to why today was a good day huh?? Well after the Psych appointment, Kaitlyn and I went to McDonalds for lunch before we had to pick up Jon from work. Well I got Kaitlyn a Chicken Nugget Happy Meal with a Milk and decided since I have been craving a salad that I would get myself one. I ordered a side salad and asked for a piece of Grilled Chicken on top. While I sat there peeling the fatty, greasy breading off Kaitlyn's nuggets, I ate my salad. It was wonderful! I got Low Fat Vinagrette and ate about 2/3 of the piece of chicken and a few bites of lettuce. Kaitlyn loves tomatoes so she ate the two tomatoes. Anyway, it went down well and stayed down! I was so excited about eating today, I wish there was someone I could call just to say "Hey, I ATE!" Ah well... at least I got to tell Jon all about it and write it in my blog and I know he and my other supporters will be excited and happy for me as well!

Bite, Chew, Swallow and Digest

Well I just have to say that this week things have gotten so much easier... well I mean eating! I can actually eat things and I feel fine afterwards. I'm able to eat a bit more too and so thats nice. I still dont push the chicken thing and I found that Tuna is not my friend - no matter how "wet" I make it. It just doesn't go down well and seems to make my pouch a little angry after a bite or two. I didn't throw up (actually havent in a little bit - knock on wood) so thats a good thing!

I eat a lot of cheese and I also make myself little mini "pizza's" and they are great! I take some Roasted Garlic Triscuits (the two I let myself have) and put about 4 pieces of Turkey pepperoni on each one and then put either a few pieces of string cheese or some colby/jack on top. Then put them in the microwave for a few seconds to melt the cheese and they are just wonderful little tasty things! I am still eating my cottage cheese too. I found a fabulous cold cereal too but found out the hard way last night that Milk is still mean to me! The cereal is GREAT, 1/2 cup has 13 grams of protein. I figure since Milk doesnt work for me, I figure I can just munch on some cereal dry. I dont mind, it really does taste great. It kind of has a sweet flavor. Oh and my sister in law made this great Bean Salad and it was delicious! I ate a bunch of it the other day when they were over.

I noticed all week I hadn't lost any weight but I chalk that up to being visited by my monthly friend... or enemy! lol It's actually weird having a regular cycle since I went for so long not having one or having it forced with meds. Anyway... the only thing I hate is that I'm SO heavy and I'm going through pads like crazy! At least they are cheaper than my daughters diapers! lol It's just blech and painful... I dont know how "normal" people deal with periods! That reminds me, I want to ask my surgeon if I am able to take Pamprin or Midol... which I dont think should be an issue.

Anyway, I have my appointment with my psych. today so hopefully we can figure out the issues I'm having. Though, the anxiety is getting a bit better (I think I'm trying to make myself believe that) because eating is getting easier. I am still having panic attacks though and I hate them. It's still hard deciding what to eat and even though I know a few things will go down without a problem I still "freak out" about eating them sometimes. I just hope we can work something out with a med change or something. I've been very depressed lately too and it's taking a toll on my libido, which in turn is making things touchy with hubby and I. Everything is great and he totally understands and we know we can work through this.

Well I'll update later after I go to my appointment. Oh yeah, I weighed yesterday and I was 241lbs so I started losing again. I hope to lose another 16lbs by Aug 11th when we go on vacation. I will weigh 225lbs if I can swing it and that would just be amazing. We're going to Cleveland for a Infant Reflux Convention and then to Michigan after that to see my family. It will be great to see them since they know I have been losing weight but seen me since December! Fun Fun!

Well off to get the child out of her high chair!

2 Months Post-Op

Well today I'm 2 months post-op and I am 243lbs, I've lost 57 pounds so far and they are NEVER coming back! Pardon the pictures... the only side one that made it was the blurry one. Our camera took a crap while taking the pics and I didnt know it until after I uploaded them. Not the best pictures in my opinion... and it seems the more weight I lose, the more I think I look like the old me... go figure.

*Note: Picture was taken today July 7th and I was 241lbs.